Do you look forward to and enjoy all changes in your life? I doubt it. Too much change, too soon can be overwhelming. Too little, too late is discouraging. Yet in every change there is a message.
Change can bring joy and it can usher in distress. And sometimes we prolong our distress by not addressing change directly.
As a priest I counseled many people whose circumstances changed. They were mired in distress, shame, fear, anger, and a feeling of alienation. They even felt that their suffering brought them closer to God.
Usually their distress centered around changes in loved ones or in their health and well-being.
Sometimes it centered around their career choices and financial issues. For them, change brought distress because they had no control over it. They just wanted things to go back to the way they were.
Eckart Tolle tells us in the Power of Now, that this present moment is unrepeatable.
We quickly go on to the next moment when a new opportunity to grow presents itself.
In other words, we are in a constant state of change that can bring a flow of new information as to how we ought to show up in the world.
So, what if we thought of change as a friend with a message? And that this friend will not reveal the message unless we’re receptive; unless we ask.
But we don’t always ask. We may cry out, “Why me?” in self-pity. We may play out our plight as if we were ultimate victims. We may wish that someone would come along and fix the whole mess. We don’t have to be victimized by change.
How do we shift to asking change for its message? I have six suggestions:
1. Come clean with your anger, hurt, or even dislike for the persons or circumstances responsible for change.
2. Forgive, which means letting go of judgment and shame.
3. Be grateful even when you suffer through change.
4. Take better care of yourself. You are not the supreme controller of change and its consequences.
5. Get rid of the notion that changes will stop coming. When it does, call the undertaker!
6. Rewrite your story to make room for new changes and share it with others!
Even in the midst of the most trivial changes, there’s a message for you and for your community. What is it? Time to ask!
Let’s discuss: Michael@mpariselifecoach.com or text me at 813-449-3904 My book can help: Life Interrupted: Taking Charge After Everything Has Changed