In my Life/Career Coaching, I’ve worked with plenty of clients adjusting to major change. They were dissatisfied with their sabotaging thoughts, wishful thinking, people pleasing, and frustrating relationships. Many were also tired of their job routines and career choices.
Sometimes they wanted to leave a job for the wrong reasons. They thought that the issues bothering them would not follow them to a new placement. They were usually oblivious to the effects of their inner ‘saboteurs’. They’d rather blame others at home or work for how they felt.
Those inner saboteurs only make your life more miserable no matter for whom you work. My job is to help them to flip the coin and listen instead to their inner sage, that voice of intelligent wisdom that often gets drowned out amid feelings of misery and despair.
So what do those saboteurs often say?
I can’t stand my boss! Here are some sage questions to consider (be honest!):
- What role(s) do you realistically expect your boss is able to carry out?
- What affirmations or validations are you expecting from your boss?
- Who does your boss remind you of in your past (parent, spouse, bully)?
- What makes you think you’ll have a better relationship with your next boss?
- What if you were the boss? What would you be able to do differently?
Most of us chaff under the constraints of authority. Yet how much of this is resulting from feeling like a victim (sometimes legitimately) or simply not taking charge of your own professional ‘landscape’?
I need a change! Here are some sage questions to consider (be honest!):
- A change from what and to what exactly? Write it out.
- How much of this need is based in new challenges?
- Are you working in an emotionally and personally safe environment?
- List what you still like about your job and what drives you crazy. Then weigh the results.
- What needs to shift for you to experience positive internal change?
Job/career change has both external and internal components. Identify what kinds of change you’re seeking. Personal growth issues always follow you into the next job.
Alla Weinberg writes eloquently about safe working environments. Her book, Culture of Safety, clarifies this issue. We can’t always recognize when saboteurs have overtaken our sages. A good life coach will help you deal with this.