Do you consider your mind as more work-oriented and your emotions/spirit as more belonging at home? Do you reserve your heavy thinking for the office and your emotions for your personal life? Why the split? Every person’s goal as a human being ought to be toward integration. We want to show up in the world as whole and complete personalities…body, mind, and spirit. It is critical not just to be successful in concrete projects and goals, but to be and feel like a successful person.
Action item 1 of 9: Courage
It’s time to throw false modesty to the wind and acknowledge the ways in which you show up as a courageous and successful person. Those with authentic courage:
- See a need and jump in to fill it.
- Have compassion for self and others.
- Are clear about core values.
- Are ethical.
- Work to dispel prejudice or bigotry.
- Don’t work to impress.
- Consult others and admit mistakes.
- Admit mistakes without whining, complaining, justifications.
- Know limitations.
- Are collaborative when necessary.
- Are motivated by intuition and empathy.
Action Item 2 of 9: Change
Change is the only absolute we experience in life. It often brings upset and disruption, as well as opportunity. Change that is imposed on us is usually challenging. Changing ourselves from within requires even more effort.
- What if you thought of change as a friend? What’s it’s message for you?
- How might change help you redefine your values?
- How might change liberate you from your preconceptions and preconceptions about yourself?
- We don’t restructure who we are. We restructure how we think, act, and respond.
Action Item 3 of 9: Denial
- The opposite of optimism is not always pessimism. It’s denial, the greatest saboteur to our growth as human beings.
- Are you willing to admit to the denial you use, to justify your actions or reaction?
- Can you admit that denial is a willful mental and emotional block not to change?
- Denial is often accompanied by procrastination (I’ll get to it eventually) or an out of control ego (No worries, I’ve got this!).
- How is your denial of the reality around you keeping you from achieving success as a person?
Action Item 4 of 9: Success
- How do you define success? Where do you see it in your life?
- In that secret core of your heart, do you feel successful?
- What if true success had much more to do with your soul than your accomplishments?
- Do you believe yourself to be creative, resourceful, and whole, or is that a long-term goal?
- How might gratitude generate feeling deeply successful?
Action Item 5 of 9: Not Enough, Too Much
- Feeling not enough, is a poisonous self-judgment. It was likely imposed on you as a child.
- Being not enough is the sense that something is missing, you’re not all there.
- Feeling that you’re too much emerges when you realize your personality, gifts, skills are not validated by others. You’re labeled as too much to take by those who cannot accept or validate who you are at your core.
1.Validate your and other’s feelings even when you disagree.
2. Listen without judgment to criticisms, ideas, and thoughts.
3. Ask open ended questions.
4. Ask yourself what you would like to do, not ought to do.
5. Tell yourself how much you appreciate and value who you are.
Action Item 6 of 9: Fear and Ignorance
- Fear is the alarm system for ignorance. It feeds on ignorance.
- What is it you need to know about? Good information is easy to find!
- When you freeze, flee, or fight, what is it that you are most fearing?
- Who (a professional life coach, therapist, or counselor) will help you work on your fears and their sources?
How can you address fear?
- Speak your fears out loud so you can hear and validate them.
- Write them down, without shame or judgment.
- Look at each fear and ask yourself, What do I need to neutralize this fear and move forward with joy?
Action Item 7 of 9: Momentum
- In this pandemic many feel the loss of personal and professional momentum.
- The present moment is even more important than momentum.
- Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now) writes that there’s a difference between having thoughts and thoughts having you.
- Do preconceptions about your life and career free or enslave you?
- What can you do now to bring your life’s goals into focus, to make progress rather than seek perfection?
4 steps to living in the present moment:
- Bracket your fear of the lack of momentum.
- Practice quiet mindfulness: meditation, art, cooking, gardening, sports, puzzles, working out.
- Shift your thoughts from worry to wonder and awe in small things.
- Stop labeling everything right/wrong, true/false, good/bad, winner/loser, saint/sinner. Enjoy the grey areas of life.
Action Item 8 of 9: Opportunity
- Crisis means choice. Choice implies decision. Decision can lead to new opportunities never thought of.
- In this pandemic, what if you were neither winning nor losing?
- What if you were experiencing new opportunities right now? What will it take to open your eyes and mind to what could be and not just what is?
- Can you believe that momentum is overrated, and that the lack of momentum right now is helping you?
- How might you enter the grey areas where new opportunities often hide?
Action Item 9 of 9: Heroes
- Are you waiting for someone to give you the perfect solution to your problem, challenges, conflicts?
- Do you realize you are the most important person given to you in the world?
- Whom do you think would be the perfect rescuer in your personal or professional life?
- Are you waiting for recognition or promotion to find influential connections?
- What if no one will recognize or rescue you because YOU already are your own best hero? What does that look like?
- Will you be daring and let go of presuppositions that don’t work? Can you address your reality as the ONE sent to bring you balance and joy?
Let’s chat about this. Email me at Michael@mpariselifecoach.com or call me at 813*449*3904 text or voice. No obligation or cost. Confidentiality assured. Check out my book: Life Interrupted, Taking Charge After Everything Has Changed for more information and inspiration.
i like your blog Michael. it is helpful and wise.