Let’s face it, for most us life doesn’t flow along nicely as some television personalities and positive-thinking seminars lead us to believe. You might even think that my life as a coach is generally peachy and that in my blog posts I’ve made up the nasty bits to “enhance” my image. Well, you’re wrong; if anything I’ve tone them down!
The fact is that we’re living in a time when life seems to be too much for most of us. We know what we’re struggling with. And we realize that our response to life is usually giving us more trouble than the situations themselves. I’ve found that as I age I have not really gotten used to the same thing happening over and over again. I still get blind-sided. I’ve also become more “brittle,” less apt to bend with circumstances, more apt to break emotionally.
The big differences between us and previous generations is first, that we’re living much longer so that there’s more opportunity to face the same crises multiple times. Second, we’re living in an accelerated culture where information about everything seems to assault us with contradictory facts that we’re supposed to absorb and/or sort out. We need only to listen to the ongoing, repetitive, and frequently inaccurate blather we lovingly call the “local news and weather” on television to know that there’s just too much coming at us.
In my Life & Spirit Coaching I had been specializing in highly sensitive men. Now I’m ready to confess. I have come to realize that most men who are highly sensitive, 1) don’t know it, or 2) don’t want to admit it, or 3) don’t want to talk about it. In fact I’ve found men in general are not responding to my invitation to get unstuck their lives through an effective coaching relationship. I suspect most men are already preoccupied with their careers and families and/or are not able to be particularly self-aware regarding their deeper spiritual and emotional needs. I also suspect that the economy is not offering men much wiggle-room to invest in their own lives, unless it’s purely for recreation.
I’m not giving up on men, though. I still believe they are the most under-served population when it comes to their personal growth. I’m simply realizing that I can’t build a practice around men alone, highly sensitive or not.
Thus I am refocusing my practice on the fact that for most people, Life’s too much! This idea came to me as I listened to myself muttering over and over again life should not be this difficult in a variety of contexts. If I’m disappointed with the way I sometimes respond to life challenges, I imagine a lot of other men and women are feeling the same. Even if you’re filthy rich, have a 5000 s/f home fully paid off, have talented and well-behaved kids in ivy league schools with full scholarships, have an over-the-top 401K portfolio that is fully funded until the next millennium, are married to your ideal spouse, enjoy cosmic sex, have no tummy, a full head of hair or are built like last year’s swim suit models (either male or female!) I imagine you too may find life is too much at times.
So I’m calling forth those of you who are truthful enough to admit that Life’s too much! and that you need and want some support to get you through the rough patches. I hope you’ll contribute to my blog with your comments and personal stories. And I hope that any time you wish to comment on my Facebook page (please like the page) or find me in LinkedIn, you’ll share something from your own experience and how you’ve found happiness and real contentment on the other side!
Original artwork copyrighted by the artist Michael Parise
Michael – you really hit me between the eyes this time and I do plan to do something about it. We’ve already exchanged some info since I discovered that I am highly sensitive, and perhaps more. Like many others, I am right up to my “proverbial” with some stuff with serious deadlines, but must take some time to connect with you for some life coaching. I’ve known that I need it for a long time, but have just been putting it off. That must stop! I will be in touch, Ken
I have found a wonderful international product that supports men in their sensitivity. I have seen quite a lot of success when men becoming involved with the Mankind Project. https://www.mkp.org I have worked with many of these men effectively and I have found the masculine to be an amazing addition to my coaching practice. Thank you for the work you do! https://www.kimillig.com