The primary purpose of sex from a biological perspective is, of course, procreation.   But there are many more purposes for human sexuality.  We use sex to relieve stress and tension.  Sex is also a great healer, sharing love and affection, the warmth and security of body and soul.  Sex can also ratify reconciliation and reunion after disagreements and division between loving couples.   It’s also been proven that people who enjoy sexual pleasure live longer and healthier lives.

But like all great gifts, sex can be misused.  Coerced prostitution and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases take their toll.  Unplanned pregnancies and subsequent abortions do violence to mothers and children in the womb.

Sex can also be used in narcissistic power plays, such as in child molestation and emotional abuse.  It can be used as a means to intimidate or manipulate, as in rape or incest.  Sadly many couples use sex as a reward or withhold it as a punishment in their relationship.  Perhaps the most wide-spread misuse of sex is when it is treated cavalierly, without full consciousness, when it becomes just another mindless activity devoid of deeper meaning, when there is no love involved and no consideration of the other person’s feelings.

Often men are accused of insensitivity regarding their use of sexuality.  Yet increasingly we see that this insensitivity knows no gender boundaries.  How do you use your sexuality and for what purposes?  What is your attitude about your partner while engaging in sexual play?  How are you meeting the other’s need for sexual satisfaction, and not just your own?  Are you courageous enough to engage in heartfelt conversation about sexuality with your partner?  These are tough questions…but even tougher consequences follow if we don’t address them.

Contact the Man’s Coach at michael@parisecoaching.com .  The Man’s Coach offers a free coaching session to whoever contacts him.