Detachment is the quickest means to becoming a powerful, fierce, and respected leader.  The best way of understanding detachment is to look at attachment. We know we may be unnecessarily attached when we get grumpy and sad when things don’t go our way. We can be attached to physical possessions so that when they are destroyed through accident, fire, flood, or even stolen, we go through a prolonged period of depression.

Some attachments, such as to one’s home, go deep, but most are superficial and become distractions.  Our bodies are also high on the list for attachment.  When something’s wrong it’s easy to panic and get lost in quality of life issues.

We also get attached to habits, some comforting, some time-wasting. Giving them up can produce withdrawal symptoms.

Some people are attached to winning at all costs. They create winners and losers in their minds and reduce life to a mere game.

How often have we seen how persons get attached to each other codependently? We can almost predict the consequences.

The biggest attachment I believe we have is to outcomes. We set ourselves up for disappointment when we strive for a goal, but attach a specific outcome that defines whether or not we’ve succeeded or failed.

Becoming detached can feel more like being “unhinged,” disconnected from what has been familiar and safe.  We’re so used to living on the surface of life that we might feel empty without our attachments.

I have found that the best way of finding a healthy detachment is to focus on our spiritual core. We go into our souls and discover who we want to be and why. We strip away all unnecessary elements that are bogging us down.  Suddenly we can let go of things, attitudes, behaviors, persons, and choices that we once thought were indispensable to our identities.

Detachment is a means of connecting spiritually with something more than ourselves, more than the material world.  We are freed to enter into a world of awe and wonder, of realizing we know so little. This is the beginning of wisdom and an intuitive connection with the energy of the universe.

We also get in touch with our personal boundaries. We realize when we’ve done all we can and then must let nature takes its course.  We stop trying to fix ourselves, others, and situations.

Respected leaders work on detachment all the time. They’re not afraid of settling for “second best” or for feeling as if they’d lost something.  They realize that life is not about winning and losing; it’s about living and loving in order to find wholeness and completion.

© Copyright Michael Parise 2017
Portions excerpted from Michael’s book: Life Interrupted, Taking Charge After Everything Has Changed

Since 1979 Michael has worked with individuals and groups to take full advantage interruptions and changes to balance responsibilities, simplify their lives, and find greater productivity and peace. Want Michael to speak for your next event?  Or hire him as your personal executive Life Coach to improve your relationships at home and at work? Call 813-444-9641 or email:

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